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Do Do Wap is Strong in Here

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

I Hate Honkeys 

arright... three quick things, because i'm sweaty and i'm busy, and i don't have time for the lollygagging.

1. while tottering my way across downtown this afternoon, two suit and tie guys popped out of a revolving door and one said to the other "that's our market differential right there." and the other guy said "oh, that's a HUGE market differential." goddammit. if i ever catch one of the kindergarteners saying anything that remotely resembles the words "market differential" they're going to the end of the damn lunch line, and i don't care how hungry they are.

2. i was thinking last night that the music of the band mogwai should be pumped down to earth from giant speakers floating in space. either that, or the band puts some space suits on and floats in space while broadcasting their music to the world. people wouldn't be saying shit like friggin "market differential" if they were incapacitated by the rawk.

3. there's somebody playing in the world series right now whose last name is "poo-holes".


Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Disco Shitstorm 

i have no idea what the hell i just ate. sour somethingorother. it was purple and brown and kind of tangy, with a side of beige pellets speckled with something green, and then maybe a bread roll and some lung tissue? i didn't eat the lungs. they looked too moist or something.

finally get to go frighten a room full of chilluns tomorrow. maybe i should shuck the mountain man motif before i wander in off the street oblivious to the shredded wheat and orange juice hanging from my face.

must do sundry bullshit while dreaming about my chewed up blankie and stinky butt bed.


Monday, October 18, 2004

I Got Mean Things, I Got Mean Things on my Mind 

alright, you bucktoothed son of a bitch, it was endearing when you looked like you were perusing the "Ruski Classics" section of the bookshelf, but stealing my socks is the last fucking straw. you've got a lackey now, too? so you can swallow my clothes while junior roots through the pantry? you stinking bag of rabies!

my brain is hissing at me, i'm clenching my fists, rolling back and forth, and listening to songs about guns and devil dogs. we put some chili powder out. why, i can't seem to remeber anymore, but i think he used it to top off my friggin tubesock, the shithead. yeah, and i put down some clorox! that's right goddammit! clorox! fuck 'im! i reserve my compassion for those people and animals that don't consume my unmentionables. i hope you go out like Robert Johnson, howling and frothing, you clod.


Thursday, October 14, 2004

Ja, Vi Elsker Dette Landet 

just got done dancing like a damn lunatic all over my cramped little room, booting juicy juice bottles against the foot infection poster and stumbling over the oscilating fan. i dance the dance that i dance because of a frabulous abbim i got in the mail all the way from trondheim by a lovely man called kaada. he somehow manages to mix up cheezy lounge, gypsy folk, polka, and sample based trip hoppy stuff, and adds english lyrics in a scandahoovian accent about trying to deal with the world and stoicly pretending that any of us have a clue about anything. i goddamn love it. i dont even mind that the goddamn neighbors upstairs are making the goddamn ceiling vibrate directly over my goddamn room and somehow nowhere else in the house, or that jordan d. burns sounds like he's raking his face across a broken guitar while strangling himself with a frayed extension cord which he's plugged into a wet socket. it's a fine collection is what i'm getting at. i think i should go listen to it one mo 'gin.


Friday, October 08, 2004

Enzyme Modified Cheese 

just me and a can of beefaroni tonight. the hell time is it? four? i think its another "goin to bed with mossy teeth cause goddammit the bathrooms all the way on the other end of the house" kinda night. zack's got his bedroom doorway stuffed with socks cause someone told him a story about a mouse coming into someones room at night and gnawing their wrist open, and now he thinks hes going to perish at the jagged maw of peaceful portly ephram. i guess i'll go play some "sabbath bloody sabbath" on my glittery purple ukelele and fall asleep with my clothes on.

eenf orf.. hokay, i just wanted to mention beefaroni, really.


Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Little Big Man 

we have a new fat-ass roommate named ephram. he moved in about a week ago, and lately he's gotten alot more comfortable around us. he comes out from behind the sink every night, eats our pizza crusts and flecks of skin, and then waddles around the living room, casually glancing at the bookshelf like he's trying to decide between "the master and margarita" or "japanese for busy people". ephram is so god damn fat that even if he is feeling a little skittish, he can't get his rubbery little legs going under his belly fast enough to work up a decent head of steam, and he just sort of skitters around corners when it seems like we might be losing interest in him.

i don't think anyone here is intent on harming ephram. o'draws claims he's going to fashion a shiv out of a broomhandle or somesuch, but the first time he met ephram, he did a swan dive into the la-z-boy, so i'm chalking that one up to testosterone. no, i guess as long as ephram's happy, i'm happy. hell, he's probably tidier than the three of us. until he starts gnawing the crotches out of my pants and leaving neat turd pyramids in the doorway, he's welcome to stay.


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